I hate myself and,I try to do something right had it always fails. I want to get better but my mind isolates me from people who can help me, my phycologist my family my friends. But even if I go to my appointments I get angry at any positivity and can't listen to it. It's like every mental health issue sticks to me like glue, it wears away but always stays to me and it drives me fucking insane. Sometime I will squeeze my head and rip my hair and scream GET THE FUCK OUT I need to talk to someone

i gotta get this out of the way before i drop some knowledge on you..

***I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this site is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.***

we cool with that? good. onward…

two words - broken brain. your brain is physically fucked up & your gut is leaky (leaky gut syndrome). ….and your self-image. no matter how much you try to change you’re gonna keep snapping back. imagine a rubber band being stretched. what happens when you stop stretching it? it goes back to its original shape. the same thing is happening with you. the new behavior isn’t sticking b/c it’s not congruent with who you are. the more you try and fail, the more frustrated you become = more hair loss. it’s the reason so many people have a hard time changing b/c it feels fake and it’s too exhausting b/c they’re being stretched beyond their capacity (who they really are). remember, therapy doesn’t work for everyone. if it did, we’d have a much lower suicide/depression rate (i know a lot of depressed therapists/psychologists).. here’s what you need to do to fix yourself: 1) google “smart meter vs analog meter” & click the FIRST link. compare the two in the first image to figure out which one you have. have your parents replace your smart meter w/ an analog. smart meters are toxic to your brain. they cause brain fog, depression, anxiety, nightmares, suicidal thoughts & insomnia. those things fuck me up big time! it’s the reason i left california & traveled around the country (for 2-3 years) living out of my car/tent & national parks so i could get away from those things 2) eliminate these foods immediately: all dairy products (bye bye pizza/ice cream), all wheat (bye bye in & out burger/sonics/donuts), all sugar & all vegetable oils (bye bye chips/cookies). these foods fuck your brain/stomach up. they literally break your brain & gut. they gotta go man. eat more vegetables, fruits, split peas, white rice, lentils, wild sardines (in spring water) & organic potatoes (these foods heal your gut/brain). there’s something in potatoes called resistant starch (gut bacteria convert RS to butyric acid = heals brain/gut) which you need. these boring foods will save your fucking life. eat tons of potatoes (not fried). 3) buy these: 5-HTP (for your brain)  http://amzn.to/1PPYEl7 , green powder (healing) http://amzn.to/1Ugk0em, activated charcoal (cleansing) http://amzn.to/1RVCsIQ 4) clean your room. get rid (donate) of everything except your clothes. anything that reminds you have your shittyness - get rid of it. your room should not be a cave of shittyness. 5) get a camera / iPhone (keep it in airplane mode) and go outside and stay the fuck outside until it gets dark. find & take pics of cool shit & upload all of your photos to your tumblr. keep doing that all day/every day & send me some pics. this will teach you how to focus on cool shit when you’re feeling like a piece of shit. eventually you’ll start to see how awesome the world is.. but it must come from experience/exposure so you need to go outside every fucking day. i’d get a bike so you can go far, really far. just make sure u don’t end up in any fucked neighborhoods with crack dealers & midget gangbangers.

i don’t want to overwhelm you so i’m not gonna add anymore to the list. if you do these things you’ll start to feel better in a day or two. don’t cut corners. if you really want this then you will do it. you’re gonna suffer short term for long-term gain. it’s price the you gotta pay for your freedom & sanity. this shit will liberate you from your angry monkey mind… you just gotta do it. -rob
p.s. don’t forget to send me those photos
p.p.s. potatoes will make you poop a lot which is a good thing. shitting is good.

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