I lost him last night. It hurts so fucking much I can't handle it I just want it to stop. He loves me, I know it. But since 4 years he hates how I make breakfast every day for him. He needs a woman, not a butler he says. He hates how I forgive him every fucking word he said. You can't even imagine how bad these words were. I have nobody left. His friends are my friends. I have no own friends since we have been together for 5 years. It hurts so bad it hurts so bad someone help me

my mother used to make breakfast for me & my twin brother every day when we were kids. she used to do our laundry, fold our clothes & clean our dishes… in the 4th grade i punched a kid in the nose for doing the chink eyes (slanty eye gesture). i got sent to the principal’s office & my mother had to pick me up. it was embarrassing for her but she forgave me. in the 5th grade i stood up in class and yelled at the teacher telling him that he was boring and his voice put me to sleep. i was sent to the principal’s office and mother came for me… she forgave me again. the same year this mexican boy threatened me and my best friend calvin (half black/white kid)… said that he’d have his gangster brothers from castle park high school come down and jump us. the next day i brought a swiss army knife to school & pulled it out in front of him & friends. they ran to the teachers for help and a bunch of them rushed towards & grabbed me. they confiscated my swiss army knife (which my mom got me b/c i was a huge macgyver fan). my mother had to come down again and apologize to the school. i was suspended for two weeks. she forgave me again…. my mother raised us alone for a long time until my step father came into the picture. she had no friends & no family (they were in vancouver canada & san jose cali). i never saw her as my butler/maid/servant even though she did all those things for us, i saw her as wonder woman… she was the first superhero i looked up to. to this day, she’s still the most amazing woman/person i’ll ever know. you sound like my mother. please don’t change. please don’t change who you are for some guy who doesn’t see your worth… who doesn’t understand that he’s with a nurturer. nurturers are kind, caring and compassionate souls. they’re a rare breed. you are beautiful. you are loving. you are deep. you are spiritual. you are rare. take time out to heal yourself. take the love you give him, and give it to yourself. you deserve it. you deserve it. you deserve it. you are worthy. remember that. ~rob

p.s. you will come out of this like a phoenix rising from the ashes. i promise. 

pps. take care of you. take care of you. take care of you. i will always be here for u. take care of you.

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