-inued she didn’t want to be their for my emotions she only cared about her and her family and I kept bending over backwards to try to please her and she just isn’t there for me anymore. Blocked me on everything. Doesn’t want me to talk to her. And I just love her and care and I was codependent and didn’t realize until it’s too late but after what I’ve been through with my mother and her being the only crutch I’ve had since last may and now she doesn’t want me orthe responsibility and it sucks. Advice?
that’s heavy… really heavy. i think the best thing to do right now is to give yourself some time to heal. if my mother passed away… salvaging a broken/dead relationship would be the last thing on my mind. remember, she gave you life & battled 4 years to stay alive for you. honor her. honor her by taking the love she gave you and giving it to others. spread that shit around. here are some things i would do: 1) find a place you can volunteer at and help people 2) get on meetup.com to find like-minded people 3) make a sign that says “i lost my mother, my girlfriend, my home. i don’t need money, i just need a hug.” and go stand somewhere that’s super busy. people will show you compassion and you’ll learn to be compassionate with yourself as well 4) write everything down… and i mean everything. i will help you on your first book 5) cry. cry like the biggest fucking baby in the world. once you have no more tears left… put all your energy into serving people. i’m not religious or anything so do whatever you can to get around people with problems and try to comfort them. homeless people are a good start 6) remember that your ex is going through a boatload of shit as well. she’s not exempt from suffering just b/c she has family and a support system. recognize that and give her the space she needs to heal & grow into the woman she was meant to be 7) work on yourself. this is an opportunity to work on yourself. to deconstruct the old you and rebuild whatever the fuck you want. just imagine your a bunch of lego bricks. you get to start over. make your mother is proud with what you end up building in the future. 8) write down what kind of person you’ll become a year from now, 2 years from now, 3 years from now. do you want to be more loving? write that down. figure out the qualities you want your future self to possess and write those down. that’s your target.
i want to close by wishing you good luck on your new journey. it’s going to be very difficult and scary but you don’t have to do it alone. there are a million/billion/trillion ways to meet people who are willing to join you on your new adventure. go out there and spread the love you received from your mother… that’s the best way to honor her. much love & respect. -rob p.s. go buy wizards first rule by terry goodkind (sword of truth book 1). that book will help you
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