I'm about to turn 30. I've been single my whole life, and nothing I've tried has worked. Should I just give up on finding love? I can't see myself finding anyone at this point, and it hurts so much.

i’m not gonna tell you that it’s ok to be single forever. i’m not gonna tell you to be patient b/c it’s gonna happen, just work on yourself & it’ll come when the time is right. instead, i’m gonna give you some different advice. but before i do, let me share with you my experience with people who give up or took the easy route in life. ready? onward…

back when i was in san diego, i met a ton of vegans/vegetarians who were really into the law of attraction. they’d practice affirmations, create vision boards & do visualizations in hopes that they’d attract whatever was on their radar. many were women who started yoga practices, opened up raw vegan/vegetarian restaurants & became life coaches/mentors/teachers. i’ll tell you… after years of following their progress on facebook - most of them are no longer in business.

…and this wasn’t just san diego. when i moved to los angeles, i saw the same thing happen. people thinking they could short-cut their way to happiness/abundance. you know, as a kid from the ghetto… if my mom had gotten into that stuff… we’d still be in the ghetto. no joke. we got out b/c my mom never gave up. she worked her ass off, even when she didn’t want to. there was no pleasure; there was tons of pain; there was no family/friends/support system; only tons of action. i want you to meditate on that for second… b/c i’m giving you the secret to life, right now. anything you want… no matter what it is… you’re gonna have to bust your ass off & never give up. look: how many people became millionaires practicing the law of attraction? not many, except the people selling you on it. i used to live in vegas & the one thing i love about vegas is that the ones who work the hardest & hustle the most get what they want. they didn’t pray for it. they didn’t crawl in cave & meditate for months hoping to attract it. no, they took massive action and hustled. that’s how you get experience. you don’t get experience from reading/thinking about, & watching other people do it. you get experience from putting yourself out there & doing that shit. i don’t know if anyone has ever told you this… but you have a lot of fucking courage. yes, you! you wake up early everyday, then you have put on uncomfortable ass clothes to get ready to go to a job/school you hate… and then you have to drive home in traffic… and when you get home… there’s no one waiting for you. no one. the only thing you hear after opening your door is the sound of a ticking clock. tick tock, tick tock. that’s fucking rough. you see… it takes a shit ton of courage to get in that hamster wheel every day when u don’t want to. you need to realize that. if you wanna give, give up. i’m not gonna judge you. but i’ll tell you this… that’s not how heroes are made… that’s not what makes a great story. look: there’s nothing wrong with pulling over & parking your car & chilling a bit & smoking a bowl. but you gotta get back on that road baby… you gotta keep driving forward b/c that’s where the parties at… that’s where everything you want is at.

i did a 7-day water fast, ran 40+ miles in a day, stayed up 4 straight days partying my ass off, ran a half-marathon drunk (in vegas - proof here), climbed a mountain, went 4 days without food on anacapa island. you know what they all had in common? they were hard as fuck & i survived b/c i didn’t give up. remember this: rejection is not failure, but feedback. you need to remember that. every time something doesn’t work, you need to change your approach. i’m a freestyle dancer, but i can’t dance that way when i go to a country bar. so i have to adapt & respect the environment/culture. the same thing is true with people. you can’t just always be yourself. if you talk really fucking fast & the person you’re on a date with talks really slow… what do you think is gonna happen? they’re gonna get turned off. next! so you have to adapt & change your approach if whatever you’re doing isn’t working. here’s the thing… i don’t recommend being single forever. it’s fucking lonely & boring. i traveled throughout alaska alone & it was a beautiful experience. but it would’ve been a billion times better w/ someone i had a connection with. and the same is true with life. you ever see/read into the wild? at the end, he writes in his journal: happiness is only real when shared. i agree. like i said… change comes from experience. you keep taking action & getting more experience under your belt so you know what works and what doesn’t. remember: you’re the problem, but you’re also the solution. also remember: happiness is simple but it ain’t easy… if it were… we’d all be happy. if it were complex then all the doctors/lawyers/rocket scientists would all be happy, but they’re not. so don’t give up! go travel & explore other countries. don’t sit around thinking about life. it’s outside your door. get out there and do stuff. you have no idea how many people i’ve met b/c i was out there having a good time and people wanna be around people that are having fun… that are smiling. you wear a smile everywhere you go, everywhere. practice smiling. it’s the most important thing you can do to make yourself more attractive. again, don’t give up! there is someone out there for you. i promise. i worked at a bar, and i’ve played matchmaker a million times. you have no clue. there’s someone out there for you. when i was living/partying in vegas i used to see midgets with hot blondes. i thought it was odd until i met one of them & the guy’s personality was bigger than his body. and i finally understood. that’s what people like. they like someone that makes them feel good. you remember that. and work on your personality. don’t give up. keep putting yourself out there. it’s gonna suck. you’re gonna hate it. you’re gonna get rejected. but you’re gonna figure out what works and what doesn’t. and that’s gonna make you deadly. b/c once you figure it out… boy oh boy… are you gonna reel in a big one! and you know what? when you do… i’ll have camera ready to capture that moment. i promise. ~rob
p.s. overthinking = nothing, action = experience, experience = change
p.p.s. you know how hard it was to respond to your question on my iPhone 5c? really hard. thank god i didn’t give up halfway. action/hard work + never give up = results baby

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