When we were kids, everything was open to us. We were wild and free. The picture I got was of myself as a kid walking in the zoo. I jump and scream, I skip and literally bolt full speed at whatever interests me. I would climb up all the trees and cages if my mom wasn’t there to watch me. Life is literally an improvisation. If I see a pretty copse of trees, I’ll run right into it and jump up and down on the dead leaves. There’s boundlessness and wonder waiting around every corner. There’s no clamps on anything.
Then something happens, and you feel really embarrassed. It’s like a cat and a hot stove. You don’t want to feel that pain again. So the next time you want to run and play freely, you are a little more cautious and wary of what other people think. A little more wary of how you look. This happens again and again and again, in all areas of life. To protect ourselves from that palpable fear of ostracism, we hold ourselves as we go through life, as if we’ve created our own parent standing above holding us by the shoulders.
So the next time we go through that beautiful park or zoo, we smile longingly at the trees and cages, at the colorful ice cream, and the souvenir shop. It’s been so long since we made all of those decisions about life that we don’t even realize we are clamped down in the first place. We smile with melancholy at the children at play, and walk our safe and practiced walk, designed to not stand out.
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- realityunbounded
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