Jacob Marley rises up through the floor, startling the barista into a near swoon as she closes up shop. Long chains made of disposable cups, plastic lids, zarfs, and stirrers are shackled to his ankles and weighted with oversized bags of coffee grounds. With a spine-shivering moan, Marley warns the barista that her soul is in danger of being forever bound in the incessant torture of remorse. “These chains!” he howls. “These chains are longer than the Starbucks chain, and far harder to break! Repent, and change your ways!”
The barista, cowering in the corner, says: “I think you may have the wrong person…”
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