I'm with my lady friend for over 4 years now and we're very serious. (We've lived together for years, we're planning a mortgage and talking about possible marriage) I completely love her and we're pretty solid. Everything in our relationship is beyond great, except our sex life. The problem is with me, not her. I selfishly don't find her attractive any more simply because she has put on noticeable weight.I don't know how to tell her. Please help, I feel ashamed of myself.

let’s be real for second… you & i both know that sex is very important to men, very. most women will overlook physical appearances if the guy is strong in other areas - like personality/big heart. but not men, unless he himself, is overweight. men are easily stimulated by physical appearances. that’s why we don’t read romance novels & instead look at pics. i’m gonna give it to you straight: if you’re not satisfied in that department then you’ll probably end up cheating on her or dumping your frustrations out on her down the road. and you don’t want to do that b/c it will make her feel worthless / like complete shit. she will hate you for the rest of her life. i’ve seen it a million times where a guy bottles up his emotions b/c he can’t open up about his true feelings…. only to have it blow up in his face later. don’t be that guy. tell her straight up. but be gentle. be very, very fucking gentle. women are very sensitive when it comes to their weight/physical appearances (i know this b/c i used to work with plastic surgeons). or you don’t have to tell her…..  you could instead make her a healthy smoothie in the mornings, pack her a healthy lunch & cook her a healthy dinner every night. then you could find outdoor activities that you guys could do together like hiking, indoor rock climbing, parkour, or riding your bikes at the park. you want to create an environment that sets her up for success. make it effortless for her. people like doing things that are easy and that make them feel good. fill the fridge with healthy food and watch a health documentary with her. that way it’s on her radar. be creative. again, make it easy for her to be healthy. i would try to make it fun as well. this is a lifestyle choice. you want her to choose it & stick with it. the worst thing to have is a partner with major health problems down the road. it will suck big time. again, be nice to her & try to find ways to help her ‘want’ to make that change. she has to want it. b/c if she doesn’t then she will resent you for making her do something she doesn’t want to. good luck. ~rob

p.s. be gentle with her…

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